I am still here
Musings on my life
I intentionally took a break from Substack to try and cut back all the information I am processing on a daily basis. Also, I needed some time to recover from the Christmas nonsense.
I turned off the sound for notifications on my phone for over a week and I had a lot more energy, honestly it was fabulous not to have that dam device nagging me all day. I turned the sound back on two days ago and feel more tired. Would it be possible to always turn it off - I am not sure. I don’t have to decide today.
My future feels uncertain and this is not a fun feeling to sit with. Specifically, how am I going to support myself? I want to work and contribute to the world, but I don’t know how to manage working and caring for myself. Learning this on the fly is not appealing but realistically is probably how it will happen. Honestly, isn’t all of life on the fly??
Can someone please tell me how to navigate this life?
The good news is as Elton John sings, I’m still standing.
P.S. I am amazed at how much Substack has changed since my last post.
Turning off notifications and feeling your energy come back says a lot about what your system needs. Sitting with uncertainty about work and sustainability is heavy, especially when you genuinely want to contribute and also take care of yourself. Learning as you go can feel messy, but it is often how new rhythms get built, especially after a late autism diagnosis reshapes the map.
Good to see you back, Amy! "Christmas nonsense" made me grin.
Love that Elton Jon song!
I hate cell phones. The only reason I have one is that it's pretty much impossible to function in modern society without one.